The Broken Record Technique

Read a Book

Lee Henderson, a Canadian from Saskatoon now living in Vancouver, wrote a book. It’s called “The Broken Record Technique,” and it’s a series of short stories.

The stories each capture a length of time in someone’s life. Most of the time dealing with hardships endured through not being quite like everyone else, or just feeling alienated. There’s a boy with a head shaped like a football, a one legged marathon runner, an 11 year old who’s afraid of opening the front door to his house (unless accompanied by his toy talking marmot), a man deathly afraid of bodies of water, and a few others. At first it seemed like the stories were trying to get by on this sort of strangeness alone, and it seemed that they would be hard to relate to. Most stories deal with people’s lives at some of their lowest points. But through the human, conversation-like quality of the writing, the characters become very easy to sympathize with.

Henderson also has a strange habit of never using quotation marks, or referring to characters (“no,” said Julie) when writing dialogue. This allows for a more flowing style of conversation which doesn’t underestimate the audience’s ability to deduce who is talking.

Overall, the stories are interesting and touching. Some are downright sad, but others have a general sense of the unexplainable discomfort that tends to permeate life in certain phases. Not a book of happy endings, but challenging and thought provoking.  A great read.

CONCEPT: 5/5 – All of the concepts of the stories are novel.

INNOVATION: 4/5 – The use of dialogue and structure are unique.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – I only wish it was a little longer. I enjoyed being in his view of Vancouver.

EXECUTION: 5/5 – Very well written. Engaging and challenging.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – A general melancholy pervaded the work (for me) but there is joy as well.

OVERALL: 7/10 – I enjoyed it more than a lot of other books I’ve read. It’s set a new standard for short stories based on human relationships, but failed to change my life in any measurable way.

Answer to Three Questions in Video Form – Update 1

Now I’m part of “this thing”

Updated for Awesome! (below)

I’m not happy with this. Let’s look more closely. In realizing the full potential of my camera I’ve made a video of myself answering three questions that Gus posed to me. Now, in writing about it, I think I’ve become very self referential and irritating. Who cares what I think? I don’t care what other people who post all manners of videos on YouTube think, especially when they’re posting their personal thoughts on other videos. I even feel annoyed that I had to use the word “YouTube” in a post on this blog. Now I’ve used the work “blog”! Augh! This is snowballing out of control.

The video itself is alright, there’s an unpleasant hum throughout, but that seems to be the standard for small digital camera videos. Visual quality is okay. I’m also irritated that just like everyone else out there, I did this at my desk. It does offer a window into the marvels of my desk, however. The fact that I have teeth strewn about it is worrisome.

I’m a little sad that (even now) I’m not talking about ideas as much as I’d like, and instead talk about events as they reflect on me. This is not how I want to write most of the time, and I try to stay away from it. Although this is a journal of sorts, and the video itself appends the journal, I would rather have at least some depth. To write inspired by daily events, but not actually reference myself, or perhaps only in passing to allow the reader to imagine the process of my day to day life. The video does not help this, it’s a depiction OF my life, although not an accurate one because while it was ad-libbed I was still acting.

Anyway, enjoy, hope you find it amusing!

CONCEPT: 3/5 – Not so bad, seemed like a good idea at the time!

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Everyone and their dog AND their dog’s dog are making these things it seems like.

SATISFACTION: 5/5 – Out of all categories I’m probably least ’satisfied’.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Very little work was actually done. I chose to leave my hand reaching out to turn off the camera in because it was easier.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – It was fun!

OVERALL: 7/10 – I’m too hard on myself, it was pretty fun to make.

Bonus illustration of situations discussed herein by Miss S. Blakey!

Taco Time vs. Taco Bell

Taco 2 Taco

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who over-generalize, and those who don’t. But, and, Also, there are two kinds of Taco joints in Canada (probably elsewhere too).

Taco Time: Notable for it’s claim of authentic Mexican food. The disposable place mats for the last few years have detailed the franchise creator, Ken, and his travels through Mexico feeding Mexicans his own brand of Taco. Which according to the place mats, they loved.

Taco Bell: Notable for it’s former mascot, a little annoying dog. Taco Bell doesn’t focus on authenticity, instead promoting the speed of service, and the lower cost of food.

QUALITY OF SIDE:

Taco Bell has the strange practice of using French-fries in the place of tortilla chips. Their fries supreme is shoestring fries smothered in bright orange liquid cheese, ground beef that looks like something unmentionable, and sour cream. The mixture is easy to scoop into one’s mouth with a fork, as it tends to clump.

Taco Time uses these little tater tot things as their side. Some people complain about them, and they are rather flavourless, but that’s because there’s little salt on them. Patrons are expected to dip them in the complementary hot sauce, a kind of thin salsa. The Mexi-Fries Supreme, or whatever it’s called in this case, has a similar cheese, and sour cream, but the ground beef is of higher quality, and I seem to remember little bits of tomato on top. Healthy!

WINNER: Taco Time

QUALITY OF ENTRE:

Taco Bell’s entres are the McDonalds hamburgers of the taco realm. Their burritos all use white flour tortillas, and are thinly packed with mushy meat or beans. The Tacos themselves are unremarkable, and come with a lot of lettuce. The other contents are hidden away inside beneath layers of bland iceberg. On taste alone, however, Taco Bell is promising. The things taste good. I can only assume (and after having a wet throaty coughing fit soon after finishing) that the taste is enhanced purely through the inclusion of salt and grease.

Taco Time’s entres try to strike closer to Mexican cooking, but I’m unaware how close they come. The tortillas are whole wheat, and the fillings are a more firm bean or ground beef. The tacos in question have more diverse filling, to rice, olives, and tomatoes. I also appreciate their sauces. They also do not lead me to such violent fits of coughing, but are still somewhat greasy.

WINNER: Taco Time

PRICE OF TACO:

Taco Bell’s prices are low. This is how the chain grew and became popular. I remember hearing a story about how the creator would purposefully open Taco Bell’s in lower rent neighborhoods as far away from McDonalds and other competitors as possible to maximize throughput. You can get two tacos and a fries supreme and drink at Taco Bell for about $7.

Taco Time is more expensive. Their combo meals will set you back about $7 without the fries supreme, and possibly only one taco.

WINNER: Taco Bell

GRAND CHAMPION: Taco Time with 2/3 categories!

Canon PowerShot SD600

I got it as a gift!

NOW WITH MORE COLIN! SEE LINK INSIDE FOR DETAILS!

Thanks Mom, Dad, and Papa. Thanks Kate, for the carrying case. Thanks Peter, for Hellsing Ultimate, which I also enjoyed, but has nothing to do with the camera.

It’s a digital camera, and I like it. It’s pretty small, has all the features I wanted, and can even take little videos and stuff. Having a little camera is great, because I don’t have to carry my bulky SLR everywhere, I can just have it in my pocket, which allows me to get photos like this:

And then you get to look at them!

I’m not going to go into detail of the technical specs of the camera and whatever.

CONCEPT: 5/5 – Giving me a camera is like giving Picaso a brush! Okay, so it’s more like giving a donkey a cart, but hey, maybe that donkey will grow up to pull the biggest cart in the world..?

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Everyone got a digital camera for Christmas this year.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – Picture quality is high, but I’m one of those people who always want’s that perfect resolution with also perfect clarity. One day.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – Well built, Canon, I am happy with the design!

FUN FACTOR: 4/5- Being able to take pictures whenever I want is pretty fun. Walking around with expensive electronics in Surrey/New West isn’t. Are the rumours true?!?!

OVERALL: 8/10 – Pretty happy with it! I like taking pictures.

Massive Impromptu Gears of War Party

Many people were chainsawed

I present to you exhibit A. 8 Friends. 3 Xb0×360s. 3 TVs. 1 Livingroom.

The Sunday before I started University, January the 7th, my roommates decided it would be a good idea to play some Gears of War. Fine, that’s a good idea, it’s a great game. You can play online with your friends, and you can play 2 people on the same console while online with up to 8 people. So we started out with one console, two players.

One of our associates, who also owns a 360, decided to bring his over as well, we could hook them both up to the router, and play 4 people at our house, and two other people at home on their own 360s made 6 players. Fun!

This process was then duplicated by another friend who happened to phone and wanted in. We had the TVs, the network cables, and the moxie to rearrange the furniture to make it happen. Now we had 6 players in our living room!

Soon more friends arrived and left, a huge box of chips arrived, and a flat of cola materialized. Suddenly we weren’t a bunch of nerds playing a video game. Suddenly we were a party of nerds playing a video game together.

Although we had to trade controllers a lot because we had more people than seats, it was a blast to run across an alien planet with 4 team mates with an assault rifle that was also part power tool and chainsaw the opposing team in half if they came around a corner too quickly. A testosterone fueled bloodbath.

I’d like to draw your attention to the final picture of the photoset, this one here, because you can’t quite appreciate the horrors that occasionally enter into my life without seeing them for yourself. (zoom in on the picture with the little magnifying glass, it’s kinda longish)

CONCEPT: 5/5 – Hey, I’m always into video game themed events. If you’re throwing a Legend of Zelda wedding don’t let me know, ’cause I’ll crash it. Super Smash Bros. bar mitzvah? Mario Party birthday?

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Nerds have been hooking together pieces of machinery since the dark ages. (insert joke about 1960s here)

SATISFACTION: 5/5 – There’s nothing like hopping around a corner, having someone lumber at you revving their chainsaw, and blowing their legs off with a well placed shotgun blast at the last possible second. Space Marines that looks like 800lbs gorillas, and monsters that look like 800lbs monster gorillas in space boots tearing each other apart.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – Well done considering how spontaneous the whole thing was, but with only one HDTV, some people were forced to suffer unnecessarily.

FUN FACTOR: 5/5 – It put a nice cap on the winter break, and set a standard for future dorkery.

OVERALL: 9/10 – Fun times with friends, no matter the condition or situation or social implications is always a good thing. Without exception. I can’t really think of any possible situations in which any of those things would take precedence over fun times with friends.

Today’s Hairdresser

Chatty woman from east Africa

I went to get my hair cut. I went to the same place I go when I need groceries, to go to the dentist, see a doctor, or buy a video game: Brentwood Town Center (Mall).

The hairdresser didn’t seem to hear me when I asked “can I get in for a cut this afternoon?” She looked vacantly past my shoulder, and then turned around to talk to a man behind her, who was busy cutting hair. She turned slowly back around, and said “I can take you.” We walked to the sinks so she could wash my hair (twice) that I had not one hour before, washed (twice). She was a short, middle aged woman with dark skin, and an accent I mistook for East Indian.

“Did you have a good New Years? I like to dance,” she answered. “R&B, Salsa, Dance, top 40, and anything Indian!” she laughed. Her daughter is going to UBC next year, and her other daughter wants to go to UVic for Law when she finishes highschool. The UVic daughter works at the Metrotown SilverCity, got a job without an interview because she’s so confident. “I think that makes things easier, being confident, and able to talk. When you do not talk to others easily, you keep things inside, you have a hard time doing even simple things.”  Hey, I thought this was her life story, not mine.

She’s got family in Switzerland, and a handful of other places, and she’s visited them all.”It’s important to travel. I’ve only been in Canada four years. I came to Calgary, Toronto, New York, but I decided I wanted to live in Vancouver.”

“We’ll make you handsome, Joshua,” she assures me. I over tip because I don’t have correct change.

CONCEPT: 3/5 – I’m disappointed when hairdressers aren’t chatty. It’s like a plumber who’s not overweight.

INNOVATION: 4/5 – She went into some areas I’ve never heard someone go into so freely. “I divorce my husband recently. He did not work, you know. They say; idle mind is a jealous mind?”

SATISFACTION: 3/5 – Not a bad cut. Not super great, or anything, and she combed it weird right before I left.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Efficient and personable. “I make lots of friends.”

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – Because I’m pretty tall, it’s hard to hang my head in those little sinks. My neck started to hurt. But other than that, probably the funnest part of my day. Well, except reading Pug Therapy, which Ally gave me for Christmas.

OVERALL: 7/10 – A little more than I’m used to paying for a haircut, and I don’t feel that the quality was such to warrant the extra cost, but considering I get my hair cut like 2-3 times a year, I guess I can’t complain. Priya was a nice hairdresser.

Emo Photos

How to show your true self with a digital camera, step by step

If you’ve ever wanted a picture that captures how you really feel inside, something that may be too complicated for words and needs to be seen, here’s how to take your own emo photos. I learned this from a friend today; previously I was not able to express myself in this way.

1. Get a digital camera.
2. Find a setting that’s not too cliche, but still ‘indie’.
3. Take a picture from above your head, at a 45 degree angle from the front of your nose. (a friend can make this easier)
4. Look into the camera and take the picture.

Extra points for: Asymetrical hair, the amount of the colour black in the photo, how high up you can look without moving your head.

Things to watch out for: Don’t take the picture in a mirror. If necessary, use the mirror to look in the viewfinder and take the picture that way. Seriously, this isn’t a joke people. How hard is this to figure out.

Examples:

WRONG.

Almost there… Not looking into the camera, and the angle is wrong. Also, you’re in a washroom. Are those your parent’s towels?

Done! Note the look of yearning to be free, and the Goonies poster.

CONCEPT: 2/5 – You can’t express your feelings with images! That makes no sense! Better stick to your blogging.

INNOVATION: 1/5 – myspace.com

SATISFACTION: 3/5 – It’s not really that bad of an angle to take a picture at, especially if you’re tall. It’ll let people see what the top of your head looks like (they are wondering).

EXECUTION: 4/5 – Stick to these simple rules and you’ll do fine.

FUN FACTOR: 4/5 – Can be pretty fun. Get a bunch of friends together and spend the evening taking mopey pictures of each other and laughing.

OVERALL: 3/10 – If you’re under 15 or over 25, this is inappropriate behaviour. Actually, no one is exempt.