Canon PowerShot SD600

I got it as a gift!

NOW WITH MORE COLIN! SEE LINK INSIDE FOR DETAILS!

Thanks Mom, Dad, and Papa. Thanks Kate, for the carrying case. Thanks Peter, for Hellsing Ultimate, which I also enjoyed, but has nothing to do with the camera.

It’s a digital camera, and I like it. It’s pretty small, has all the features I wanted, and can even take little videos and stuff. Having a little camera is great, because I don’t have to carry my bulky SLR everywhere, I can just have it in my pocket, which allows me to get photos like this:

And then you get to look at them!

I’m not going to go into detail of the technical specs of the camera and whatever.

CONCEPT: 5/5 – Giving me a camera is like giving Picaso a brush! Okay, so it’s more like giving a donkey a cart, but hey, maybe that donkey will grow up to pull the biggest cart in the world..?

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Everyone got a digital camera for Christmas this year.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – Picture quality is high, but I’m one of those people who always want’s that perfect resolution with also perfect clarity. One day.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – Well built, Canon, I am happy with the design!

FUN FACTOR: 4/5- Being able to take pictures whenever I want is pretty fun. Walking around with expensive electronics in Surrey/New West isn’t. Are the rumours true?!?!

OVERALL: 8/10 – Pretty happy with it! I like taking pictures.

Weekend Warzone #8 – Rashomon, Being Paralyzed by Choice, Kitties

Rashomon

In the theme of reviewing a Kurosawa film on the weekend comes this weeks chapter, Rashomon. Rashomon is the story of a murder that takes place in a forest glen told from the perspective of four people; a bandit, a dead man, the dead man’s wife, and an outside observer, a man hiding in the trees. The movie explores the themes or justice, morality, good and evil.

Some of you will be happy to know the movie only runs 88 minutes, as opposed to Seven Samurai which actually takes several years to complete.

I found the film very interesting. It’s got the theme that’s done to death in every single police/crime drama on television; that of multiple veiwpoints of the same crime. In those shows, however, there’s a conclusion. A point where the viewer is succored by the director, and everyone can cry “I knew it!” Rashomon offers nothing clean cut. Like the line between Good and Evil, the truth and lies of each story become blurred so that no retelling can be the entire truth, but none are entirely untrue.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – The concept is solid, and allows for a lot of probing of deeply rooted human nature.

INNOVATION: 5/5 – This was pretty original for it’s time, I’m sure. Too bad CSI decided to make an entire show about the concept alone.

SATISFACTION: 3/5 -Leaves the audience with an odd feeling of discontent, because we never find out what really happened. But as a film, it’s very satisfying.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – The DVD transfer I watched had bad sound, which shouldn’t be an issue in a movie with subtitles, right? Well, it would have been nice. The cinematography is top notch, however.

FUN FACTOR: 2/5 – Unless you find debating morals fun

OVERALL: 8/10 – It’s Kurasawa, and I like ‘em.

Being Paralyzed by Choice

Occasionally there’s times in life when there’s so many possible options for action, it’s nearly impossible to decide on one, and instead nothing gets accomplished. There must be a term for this. Have you ever noticed that the more choices there are on a menu the longer it takes to select what food you want? Not including the time it takes to read all the possible selections, of course. This is a toss up, because in theory wouldn’t you be happier with more choice? On a menu there’s a greater chance they would have your favourite dish, for instance. However, this also facilitates for a greater anxiety, the customer is left wondering if they wouldn’t have enjoyed a different dish more.

A good example of this is trying to buy a digital camera. If you’re like me and you like doing as much research as possible into price, quality, review scores, company history, before making a choice, you’ll soon find that the farther you dig the more and more variables there are to consider and weigh in on the selection. I almost envy those able to walk into an electronics store, tell the salesperson “I want a camera that does this this this,” and be sold on something.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – The idea behind having as much choice as possible for everything is well meant. After all, isn’t that what living in a free country is all about?

INNOVATION: 5/5 – Never in history have so many possibilities been offered to the consumer. Not to mention the overwhelming feeling created by the first page of search results from your favourite search engine. 1,900,000 results for Earl Grey?

SATISFACTION: 2/5 – Contrary to the reasoning behind choice, people are often less satisfied with more choice due to the stress and questions that arise.

EXECUTION: 2/5 – It’s never really that paralyzing, but it can be much more complicated than need be.

FUN FACTOR: 2/5 – Not a barrel of laughs.

OVERALL: 5/10 – It’s a debate between too much choice and too little choice. Just take solace that there’s few completely wrong choices.

Kitties

Kitties are cute and fuzzy. Some are sleek, and some are fluffy. They come in all colours and shapes, and are pretty much the best animal. I know some people would argue that cows are the best animal (milk+hamburgers) or some jokester will say that humans are the best animal. Come on, we’re not animals, God made us PEOPLE. Don’t be silly. Kitties are the best animal because you can hug them, and they might make a little noise.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – Warm kitties.

INNOVATION: 4/5 – Because no matter what, I never get tired of looking at pictures of kitties.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – Nothing like a hot kitty on a cold day.

EXECUTION: 0/5 – Don’t execute kitties.

FUN FACTOR: 4/5 – Fun for years, a kitty is a good investment.

OVERALL: 9/10 – Maowr.

Verdict – Kitties! My only regret is that I may one day be paralyzed between choosing from a bunch of cute kitties.

15 Minutes

It’s all I have

A lot can happen in 15 minutes (let’s start off how no essay ever should, sweeping generalizations and obvious statements), for instance, a cat can be born, the universe can start, or you can sit quietly. 15 minutes is also the smallest amount of time that it is possible to give someone to get ready to go somewhere. They might be angry if they need longer, but by law this is all you are required to give. This is also the minimum amount of time it takes any human being to get out of bed. The first foot takes 5 minutes, the other foot 5, and the last 5 minutes is spent making an unhappy face.

15 minutes is how long most drives take, and how long spaghetti takes to prepare (with sauce), so you can multitask and complete both of these things at the same time. 15 minutes is the maximum amount of time a person has ever held their breath, although I think my brother was cheating and may have been breathing through his nose.

CONCEPT: 3/5 – 15 minutes is a pretty good amount of time. You can divide it into chunks of 15, 5, 3, and 1. So divide it up how you like, and then spend each section doing something different!

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Monks invented this a long time ago, but they measured it in the average time it took for a honey bee to return to the hive. For accuracy, thousands of monks were required to chase individual bees throughout the fields of Britain so that they could tell if it was really the same bee. They counted time-to-hive by saying “One Stone Henge, Two Stone Henge,” under their breath.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – You can get a lot done, but there’s only about twenty 15 minute segments to each day, so use them wisely.

EXECUTION: 5/5 -Flawless.

FUN FACTOR: 5/5 – Depends what you’re doing, but I’ll assume is eating honey.

OVERALL: 6/10 – Good enough.

Weekend Warzone #6 – Putting Things Off to Increase Their Enjoyment, Lazy Sundays, Regret at Having Written About Bladders

Putting Things Off to Increase Their Enjoyment

I frequently find that I put off things that I don’t want to do, I’m getting better at doing them quickly though. Although now I’m developing the disturbing trait of putting things off to create a greater enjoyment of them  when I finally cave in. This includes:

• Eating a candy
• Watching a movie
• Playing a video game
• Drinking a beer
• Finishing anything in a series that I enjoy

Although the last one might be due to a feeling of sadness that comes with the finality of the end of a series of experiences that I’ve enjoyed, like Firefly, or Arrested Development, or Tom Strong (Tom Strong’s not over, I just don’t like reading the last comic in the Trade Paperbacks I buy every so often).

I think It may come with age, a greater willpower, a feeling of needing to get something more important done (laundry frequently interrupts movie watching) but I wish it didn’t feel so much like losing part of my childhood so frequently. Gone are the days when I could play video games until I passed out, and then wake up, eat some cereal, and continue playing. Candy’s bad for you, so I put it off until I feel a little sluggish. Movies are long and take up a lot of time, so I put them off until I have no other distractions, because it feels guilty. Drinking beer is a reward for a hard week instead of a hard day of work.

I do find that I am able to derive more satisfaction from these simple pleasures than I would have normally simply because I know I waited longer. The candy isn’t physically sweeter, but the experience has aged in my mind with the anticipation.

CONCEPT: 3/5 – In concept it’s fairly innocuous, as long as it’s not taken to the extreme of being compulsive.

INNOVATION: 2/5 – As with most things, it’s not something Cheese hasn’t done before.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – Ranks fairly high, but there’s always the niggling “I could have held out longer.”

EXECUTION: 4/5 – Alright, although sometimes I give in too early and then feel a bit ashamed that I couldn’t wait another 10 minutes to eat those Rockets.

FUN FACTOR: 2/5 – Arguably, putting things off that you enjoy isn’t fun, but it’s the invested potential fun that pulls you along.

OVERALL: 6/10 – Less becoming a choice, and more becoming a necessity of the business of life.

Lazy Sundays

Getting up late, having a shower, not combing your hair, putting on that shirt you only wear around the house, not even wearing socks all day, life is pretty sweet. Maybe have breakfast at around 2:00, or whenever you start feeling hungry. Then, have some tea, and sit down to something you’ve been putting off all week, like a book. You might accomplish something, like housecleaning, but probably not. Just take some time to relax.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – Yeah, it’s nice.

INNOVATION: 3/5 -  When was the last time you had some time just to yourself to reflect on things?

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – Don’t think of it as wasting time, think of it as an investment in personal mental health.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – If you get anything bigger than the bathroom cleaned, you’re doing it wrong.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – Believe it or not, you can have fun by yourself. Sing a song, or dance around and eat toast.

OVERALL: 8/10 – A good way to spend a seventh of the week.

Regret at Having Written About Bladders

Well, this is just perfect. Ever since I wrote that Almost Full Bladder Feeling post, at least one person a day has come to the site using the search term “full bladder feeling.” I’m also damning myself further, because in writing another post about it I’m probably moving myself up higher on the Google priority list for websites dealing in bladder issues.

Here’s a message to all the people coming here in search of answers: you won’t find any here, and you probably have a bladder infection; I’m sorry.

I didn’t want this to happen, I didn’t foresee the consequences of my actions, and I will be more careful in the future. Come back next week for my article on Sex Breasts: Lindsay Licks Britney’s Nude Pictures, and, Burning Sensation When I Pee.

Goddamn internet.

CONCEPT: 3/5 – The concept itself was a noble one, I merely wanted to outline the  biological struggles we face daily.

INNOVATION: 3/5 – Not sure if anyone’s written on that subject before, but it appears to be an issue many struggle with.

SATISFACTION: 2/5 – This wasn’t how it was meant to be!

EXECUTION: 3/5 – I guess the fact that people were tricked into thinking I had any sort of real information meant that I did an alright job.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – It’s kinda funny.

OVERALL: 4/10 – I’m not happy with this turn of events, but I will take it in stride.

Verdict – LAZY SUNDAYS! Congratulations! You are superior to procrastinating with things you actually want to do, and regret at having written about urinary tracts! I hope you wear that mantle proudly, Lazy Sundays. I hope to meet you many more times in the future.

Strange Computer Issues

Not sure how it happened, but it can’t be fixed by mortal hands

Maybe you’ve turned on your computer, and all the desktop icons are reset. Now this happens every time you use the computer. Welcome to the wacky world of computer problems. Things that don’t really break your computer, but minor inconveniences that hinder your enjoyment. Worse are the sort that start seemingly for no reason when they used to work perfectly. Some of the ones I’ve experienced include:

• Being informed, twice, on every bootup, that Windows cannot ‘find the installer for volume’.
• Speakers that make a high pitched whine whenever the hard drive is read unless they’re playing any sound file. Even a silent sound file.
• Windows tries to install exactly 2 updates every time the computer is shut down. They never complete, and the computer shuts down after about 2 minutes.
• DVDs don’t always read the first time they’re put in the DVD drive.
• New versions of video card driver do not allow the user to actually open the video settings controll panel, and cannot be uninstalled completely.
• Hard drives suddenly become several megabytes smaller than they used to be with no explaination.
• Post your own crappy problems that don’t make any sense that no one seems to be able to fix!

These sort of problems are the thing that make my mom and dad stop using computers. Don’t we live in an age where computers should be beyond the point of being ‘touchy’ and needing to be coaxed with some useless ritual to work properly? “It usually works best if I put a pot on to boil before I use the internet; the pages load faster, and the computer doesn’t beep as much.”

CONCEPT: 2/5 – If I wanted a box that I didn’t know the state of the contents of, I’d just get a much cheaper box and a cat.

INNOVATION: 1/5 – Mistakes have been made since time began, and people still don’t know how some of them happen.

SATISFACTION: 1/5 – One of the least satisfying parts of computing.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – They always manage to do it, no matter how new the software, or how powerful the hardware.

FUN FACTOR: 1/5 – When parents yell my name because the computer-box is acting up, it sends chills up my spine. When it’s not their fault, it’s even more frustrating.

OVERALL: 2/10 – We should be beyond the point where consumer products can easily be so corrupted to the point where they don’t function, or need to be jerry rigged.

Loose Change

It’s in your pocket

I have mounds of loose change on my desk. Every time I use cash, I end up with a pocket full, and it ends up on my desk at the end of the day. In the morning I pick up enough for emergency bus fare, and set out. Nickles and Dimes, sorry, you don’t get to come. Pennies? Don’t even look at me and say the word pennies. As a result, I have a whole bunch of money just sitting here, not earning interest, not being spent.

Change can be useful. Small children can be easily bribed with it. You can flip it to decide an outcome. Do tricks with it, make it dance on your knuckles and then disappear. Make a phone call. Buy a burrito. Ultimately, it’s a good thing. But what does keeping it in a jar in your closet do the economy?

I don’t know, I’m not an economist. I’d say it probably does nothing. If everyone in the world got together and donated their jar of coins to charity, could we end world hunger? Depends on how many burritos it would take I guess.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – Loose change is a great way to spend “free money,” because it’s money you’re never going to put back in the bank. Also, handy to have around.

INNOVATION: 4/5 – Currency allows people to use their labour as a universal bartering system. Except the homeless, who don’t do labour.

SATISFACTION: 3/5 – Can acumulate quickly and become a hinderance. The constant jingle when walking can attract unwanted kitties. But ultimately useful.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Pretty good. But if we all moved to a digital currency, couldn’t I save more of my money because it wouldn’t be returned to me in little pieces after a transaction?

FUN FACTOR: 2/5 – Buying an ice cream can be fun, but trying to count it out while looking like an idiot and holding up the ice cream line doesn’t make you look like the hot shot you are.

OVERALL: 6/10 – Adequate, with a few flaws.

Blue LED Lights

Strings of lights made of blue light emiting diodes

These are lights people put up all over the place at Christmas. A few years ago they were invented for the first time and everyone thought it would be great to buy a bunch and put them all over the place. Their particularly distracting properties made them prime for storefronts and commercial applications, while their energy saving nature made them attractive to businesses as well. So up they went, all over town, and soon up they’ll go again.

I’m not against saving power, I heavily endorse it, but there’s something about the lights that doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t know why I said that with an air of mystery, I know exactly what it is. The combination of the lights brightness coupled with their particular hue makes them hard for me to see. My eyes can’t focus on them, and they turn into bright splotchy star shaped blue lazer bolts and confuse and disorient me. Others claim not to see this effect, others still agree with me, and still others can see the effect but are not bothered by it. The most concerning thing is that looking at the lights makes me feel like my eyes aren’t working properly. By straining very hard I can bring them in to focus, but it’s like someone trying to see a Magic Eye for the first time, and everything else goes blurry.

I can only come to one conclusion, Blue LEDs don’t exist on this plane. They are not lights, but a window into another dimension where our laws of physics don’t apply.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – Yes, let’s save the environment and spruce up an otherwise drab season.

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Before these things there were just regular type lights, which were good and all, but these ones are apparenly better. Of course, reinventing something isn’t nearly as revolutionary as inventing something in the first place.

SATISFACTION: 2/5 – Not being able to properly observe them makes me feel weird.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – They do the job, but again, not as well as I’d like.

FUN FACTOR: 1/5 – Not very.

OVERALL: 5/10 – Points for long life and less electricity, but problematic in other areas.