A Movie We Made for School

Alright let’s get this out of the way

In the interest of people knowing what “I’m up to” here’s a short film I made for a class at SFU Surrey.

There’s a few things I’m not happy with, but then there’s some bits that I like. I really think the first 2 minutes is the most cohesive. I don’t want to add any narcissism to this or belittle any other of my group members input (we all worked really hard, and we couldn’t have made this otherwise), but the first two minutes I’ll say are more me than any other part of the movie. I wrote the shot list, dialogue, and then shot and edited the first two minutes, so if you’re looking for the best example of my work that’s where to look around in. Oh, except one cut that Andrew pointed out to me, which is where I’m laying on the floor and it sort of dwells on the shot for a period of time. I would have made that a little more succinct.

A few things I’m not all that happy with, including the whole thing (you just get so sick of your idea after 5 weeks, you know?) are the ending, which is pretty silly and overdone, and a few of the other scenes where it’s not clear exactly what happens. Fun Fact!: It’s a shoe that hits my face in the one scene.

At the showing people laughed in the right places, and even said “Ooh…” when I fell on the stairs. I think I blew part of our mark when the prof asked “So, did you end up using any of the techniques you learned from your study of a director?” and I said “Not consciously.” But we did Ang Lee. Our movie didn’t have any sweeping mountain ranges with flying swordsmen, bamboo thickets, gay cowboys, or Hulks. I don’t usually think of Ang Lee movies in terms of cinematography, it sort of fades into the background behind compelling plots and the beauty of the landscape he chooses to shoot in.

We, on the other hand, had Burnaby.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – The idea was sort of noble, rather than do something overly violent or depressing (as most student films seem to turn out) we tried to do something with a more light hearted message. Probably because the two example movies we were shown have to do with strangling women.

INNOVATION: 3/5 – Not a whole lot new here. Imagination shown in black and while, blinking eye to transition, repetition, deus ex machina, the works. We forgot to include the scene that explained that Jamie was looking for me because I didn’t come to her party. I wonder if that came through at all.

SATISFACTION: 2/5 – Although it was one of the better films, I think with more time and more retakes, paying more attention to lighting, and framing shots more interestingly, we could have made a better movie.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Total editing time was around 30 hours for everyone combined, which was partly because everyone was learning to use the program. We almost lost the entire thing twice, and had other technical issues. Turned out alright though.

FUN FACTOR: 2/5 – At the beginning of the project, 4, at the end 0. So an average of 2 will suffice.
OVERALL: 5/10 – If this were a grade, I would give us 75%, but since this is a 10 point scale where 50% isn’t a fail, I’m giving us a 5 overall. Some good element, but ultimately too much work for too little payoff. The next one will be better, if we ever do one.

Massive Impromptu Gears of War Party

Many people were chainsawed

I present to you exhibit A. 8 Friends. 3 Xb0×360s. 3 TVs. 1 Livingroom.

The Sunday before I started University, January the 7th, my roommates decided it would be a good idea to play some Gears of War. Fine, that’s a good idea, it’s a great game. You can play online with your friends, and you can play 2 people on the same console while online with up to 8 people. So we started out with one console, two players.

One of our associates, who also owns a 360, decided to bring his over as well, we could hook them both up to the router, and play 4 people at our house, and two other people at home on their own 360s made 6 players. Fun!

This process was then duplicated by another friend who happened to phone and wanted in. We had the TVs, the network cables, and the moxie to rearrange the furniture to make it happen. Now we had 6 players in our living room!

Soon more friends arrived and left, a huge box of chips arrived, and a flat of cola materialized. Suddenly we weren’t a bunch of nerds playing a video game. Suddenly we were a party of nerds playing a video game together.

Although we had to trade controllers a lot because we had more people than seats, it was a blast to run across an alien planet with 4 team mates with an assault rifle that was also part power tool and chainsaw the opposing team in half if they came around a corner too quickly. A testosterone fueled bloodbath.

I’d like to draw your attention to the final picture of the photoset, this one here, because you can’t quite appreciate the horrors that occasionally enter into my life without seeing them for yourself. (zoom in on the picture with the little magnifying glass, it’s kinda longish)

CONCEPT: 5/5 – Hey, I’m always into video game themed events. If you’re throwing a Legend of Zelda wedding don’t let me know, ’cause I’ll crash it. Super Smash Bros. bar mitzvah? Mario Party birthday?

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Nerds have been hooking together pieces of machinery since the dark ages. (insert joke about 1960s here)

SATISFACTION: 5/5 – There’s nothing like hopping around a corner, having someone lumber at you revving their chainsaw, and blowing their legs off with a well placed shotgun blast at the last possible second. Space Marines that looks like 800lbs gorillas, and monsters that look like 800lbs monster gorillas in space boots tearing each other apart.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – Well done considering how spontaneous the whole thing was, but with only one HDTV, some people were forced to suffer unnecessarily.

FUN FACTOR: 5/5 – It put a nice cap on the winter break, and set a standard for future dorkery.

OVERALL: 9/10 – Fun times with friends, no matter the condition or situation or social implications is always a good thing. Without exception. I can’t really think of any possible situations in which any of those things would take precedence over fun times with friends.

Today’s Hairdresser

Chatty woman from east Africa

I went to get my hair cut. I went to the same place I go when I need groceries, to go to the dentist, see a doctor, or buy a video game: Brentwood Town Center (Mall).

The hairdresser didn’t seem to hear me when I asked “can I get in for a cut this afternoon?” She looked vacantly past my shoulder, and then turned around to talk to a man behind her, who was busy cutting hair. She turned slowly back around, and said “I can take you.” We walked to the sinks so she could wash my hair (twice) that I had not one hour before, washed (twice). She was a short, middle aged woman with dark skin, and an accent I mistook for East Indian.

“Did you have a good New Years? I like to dance,” she answered. “R&B, Salsa, Dance, top 40, and anything Indian!” she laughed. Her daughter is going to UBC next year, and her other daughter wants to go to UVic for Law when she finishes highschool. The UVic daughter works at the Metrotown SilverCity, got a job without an interview because she’s so confident. “I think that makes things easier, being confident, and able to talk. When you do not talk to others easily, you keep things inside, you have a hard time doing even simple things.”  Hey, I thought this was her life story, not mine.

She’s got family in Switzerland, and a handful of other places, and she’s visited them all.”It’s important to travel. I’ve only been in Canada four years. I came to Calgary, Toronto, New York, but I decided I wanted to live in Vancouver.”

“We’ll make you handsome, Joshua,” she assures me. I over tip because I don’t have correct change.

CONCEPT: 3/5 – I’m disappointed when hairdressers aren’t chatty. It’s like a plumber who’s not overweight.

INNOVATION: 4/5 – She went into some areas I’ve never heard someone go into so freely. “I divorce my husband recently. He did not work, you know. They say; idle mind is a jealous mind?”

SATISFACTION: 3/5 – Not a bad cut. Not super great, or anything, and she combed it weird right before I left.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Efficient and personable. “I make lots of friends.”

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – Because I’m pretty tall, it’s hard to hang my head in those little sinks. My neck started to hurt. But other than that, probably the funnest part of my day. Well, except reading Pug Therapy, which Ally gave me for Christmas.

OVERALL: 7/10 – A little more than I’m used to paying for a haircut, and I don’t feel that the quality was such to warrant the extra cost, but considering I get my hair cut like 2-3 times a year, I guess I can’t complain. Priya was a nice hairdresser.

Running Through the Rain to the Ferry

Wind storm also

An entirely different experience than taking the ferry is running through the rain to the ferry. This may happen because you’re at a friend’s house before Christmas, and he lives in Campbell River, and you live on Quadra, and you were Christmas shopping and decided to go to his place for drinks and to listen to music. Or maybe for some other reason, I’m not a soothsayer.

So it comes to be 9:30, and if you don’t leave soon you’re not going to be able to catch the 10:30 home, so of course you procrastinate for at least 20 minutes because you’ve been drinking Scotch and Rye and listening to Tyler Fedchuk mixes and going over the year in music. You eventually decide to leave so that it’s easier to get things done tomorrow, even though it’s raining pretty hard out, and there’s a terrible wind storm going on and you’re not even sure if the ferry’s running anyway. On the way out you leave the present you bought Mom in your friend’s entryway.

And you’re doing it. You’re jogging to the ferry in the rain in a wind storm. Thank God it’s mostly down hill, and the Scotch has made you feel warm and unable to tell when you should stop jogging. So you get there in record time, about 10 minutes, and you have to sit and wait for the ferry for another 10 minutes in the cold wet waiting area. But at least the ferry is running, and your brother picks you up at the other side and drives you home. Good thing he got his license! Maybe he can pick you up tomorrow from the pub as well…

CONCEPT: 1/5 – Having to run through the wind and rain in a big jacket aren’t high on anyone’s list of things to do before they die.

INNOVATION: 1/5 – It’s common knowledge that running increases speed.

SATISFACTION: 2/5 – Getting there on time is nice, but being too early just makes you think of all the time you could have spent still listening to a mash up.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – Well, you made it with time to spare at least.

FUN FACTOR: 1/5 – Suck factor: 4/5

OVERALL: 4/10 – Not all that bad, really.

Commenting On Posts

Try it, you’ll like it

Since I’ve never done it myself, I’m not sure the procedure. I assume it’s fairly easy, but I think commenting on a post requires clicking on the COMMENT thingy above each one.

Go on, it’s okay. I like hearing what people think. If you ever left a comment and were sad because I didn’t reply, please don’t be. I haven’t replied to any of the comments left on the site. What do you think, would it be better if I did? I think follow ups may make this seem like a more legitimate enterprise. Would you be more interested in commenting if there were FABULOUS PRIZES involved?

Leaving comments is cool, and lets me see who’s reading the site. It also gives me valuable counter information to my normal ranting, which I enjoy. I’ve decided to embrace critiscism whenever possible, because if you can’t take it you shouldn’t dish it out. So correct grammar, point out flaws in arguments, and generally get all up/grill etc.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – Leaving a comment is a cool way to let people know you’re cool!

INNOVATION: 4/5 – There’s still time, you can be one of the first.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – The only thing more satisfying is passing a law you penned. When was the last time you did that?

EXECUTION: YOU/5 – This, gentle reader, I leave to your discretion.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – Reading’s more fun than contributing.

OVERALL: 7/10 – Aw, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Making Mii of Canadian Newscasters (now with pictures)

Now Peter Mansbridge and Gloria Macarenko can box!

There’s been a new Nintendo out a little while now, you might have heard. One of the chief features is being able to make these little charicatures of yourself or other people and have them actually appear in the games you play, either as the player’s character, or people in the background. These little guys are Mii. One can be seen here and you can make your own on a flash based mock up here (although the one on the Wii is much better).

I was bored last night, and having seen people make Mario, Luigi, Hitler, Ghandi, Bush, the cast of The Big Lebowski (Lebowskii?), I was at a loss as to how to capture something original, and at the same time something more personal. Something reminded me that I grew up in a household with only one channel, the CBC. The rest is history.

I set to work creating Peter Mansbridge, Wendy Mesley, Rex Murphy, Gloria Macarenko, and Tony Parsons of Global. I stopped only because it was around 1:00AM at this point. I can’t wait to boot up Wii Sports and have a tennis match between Parsons and Mansbridge.

Who else should I make? George Stroumboulopoulos? Ian Hanomansing? Ken Finkleman? Why can’t I think of any women? What other newsworthy Canadians am I forgetting to fill the stands of my boxing ring with?

CONCEPT: 5/5 – For me this has been the most entertaining use of the Mii creator yet.

INNOVATION: 4/5 – I may have the world’s first Rex Murphy Mii. Unless someone at the CBC has a Wii.

SATISFACTION: 3/5 – Mansbridge’s look of reserved yet mildly hopeful despair was hard to capture. Also the jowls.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – Tony Parsons looks amazing, however.

FUN FACTOR: 5/5 – I feel like I’ve found a piece of the Canadian Identity. Thanks Nintendo.

OVERALL: 9/10 -I promise I’ll post some pictures when I am able to somehow capture their likenesses. (Sorry about the picture quality, taking pictures of a TV is a bad idea in most cases)

A Guy Comes to the Door Selling Newspapers

Knock Knock

The Everyman: Hello?

Newspaper Guy: Hello sir! How are you today?

TE: Fine, how are you?

NG: I’m good as well. I just wanted to let you know that we will be delivering you one of two local newspapers for free for two weeks.

TE: No, thank you, we don’t read newspapers. I’d rather save you the trouble and the trees, because I’m just going to have to bend down and pick them up and carry them across the house and put them right into the recycling.

NG: I just need to ask you which door you’d like me to deliver to.

TE: Sorry, I’m not interested.

NG: You will also be recieving free TV guide-

TE: We don’t have cable, sorry.

NG: But… you could take it to work and use the TV guide… at work.

TE: (who is allowed to just watch TV at work?) No.

NG: Th-

TE: No.

NG: *rolls eyes* Thank you sir.

CONCEPT: 2/5 – This conversation might go differently if you are at all interesting in anything the other person has to say.

INNOVATION: 2/5 – “No” is a fairly common way to get other people to leave you alone.

SATISFACTION: 2.5/5 – The outcome was top-notch, but the fact that it happened at all lowered my satisfaction.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – He really stonewalled and played the ‘not listening’ card well.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 -Shutting people down is strangely fun.

OVERALL: 5/10 – A learning experience for all involved!