A Movie We Made for School

Alright let’s get this out of the way

In the interest of people knowing what “I’m up to” here’s a short film I made for a class at SFU Surrey.

There’s a few things I’m not happy with, but then there’s some bits that I like. I really think the first 2 minutes is the most cohesive. I don’t want to add any narcissism to this or belittle any other of my group members input (we all worked really hard, and we couldn’t have made this otherwise), but the first two minutes I’ll say are more me than any other part of the movie. I wrote the shot list, dialogue, and then shot and edited the first two minutes, so if you’re looking for the best example of my work that’s where to look around in. Oh, except one cut that Andrew pointed out to me, which is where I’m laying on the floor and it sort of dwells on the shot for a period of time. I would have made that a little more succinct.

A few things I’m not all that happy with, including the whole thing (you just get so sick of your idea after 5 weeks, you know?) are the ending, which is pretty silly and overdone, and a few of the other scenes where it’s not clear exactly what happens. Fun Fact!: It’s a shoe that hits my face in the one scene.

At the showing people laughed in the right places, and even said “Ooh…” when I fell on the stairs. I think I blew part of our mark when the prof asked “So, did you end up using any of the techniques you learned from your study of a director?” and I said “Not consciously.” But we did Ang Lee. Our movie didn’t have any sweeping mountain ranges with flying swordsmen, bamboo thickets, gay cowboys, or Hulks. I don’t usually think of Ang Lee movies in terms of cinematography, it sort of fades into the background behind compelling plots and the beauty of the landscape he chooses to shoot in.

We, on the other hand, had Burnaby.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – The idea was sort of noble, rather than do something overly violent or depressing (as most student films seem to turn out) we tried to do something with a more light hearted message. Probably because the two example movies we were shown have to do with strangling women.

INNOVATION: 3/5 – Not a whole lot new here. Imagination shown in black and while, blinking eye to transition, repetition, deus ex machina, the works. We forgot to include the scene that explained that Jamie was looking for me because I didn’t come to her party. I wonder if that came through at all.

SATISFACTION: 2/5 – Although it was one of the better films, I think with more time and more retakes, paying more attention to lighting, and framing shots more interestingly, we could have made a better movie.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Total editing time was around 30 hours for everyone combined, which was partly because everyone was learning to use the program. We almost lost the entire thing twice, and had other technical issues. Turned out alright though.

FUN FACTOR: 2/5 – At the beginning of the project, 4, at the end 0. So an average of 2 will suffice.
OVERALL: 5/10 – If this were a grade, I would give us 75%, but since this is a 10 point scale where 50% isn’t a fail, I’m giving us a 5 overall. Some good element, but ultimately too much work for too little payoff. The next one will be better, if we ever do one.

Casino Royale

BONDJAMESBOND

I went out to see Casino Royale with my roommates. It was fun! I had a sort of crick in my neck that made me too aware of my surroundings, but the movie was pretty good nonetheless. I’m pleased with the newish direction, for once Bond seemed like a real person, and not some sort of mythic ideal, like Hercules.

The pacing is a bit wonky in places, but there’s always a bit of action that works into the story surprisingly well whenever the movie starts to drag. The actual Casino portion of the film, a Poker game, is disrespectful to the audiences intelligence, but I’m willing to forgive that. Towards the end the audience becomes painfully aware that the length of the movie is more than average; I even said “OH COME ON” aloud at one point.

Bond’s quips are kept to a minimum, and are refreshingly relevant and unforced. Q is no where to be seen, which means the gadgetry is a bit sparse (no invisible cars driving up ice walls, thank God). Just good old fassioned plot and action.

CONCEPT: 3/5 – A fresh start to a floundring franchise, Bond has the smooth cinematography and perfect cheek bones from the glory days.

INNOVATION: 3/5 – While nothing is greatly new, it’s an entertaining plot with extremely well crafted action.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – To the last!

EXECUTION: 5/5 – Nearly flawless. The technical side of this movie, script, photography, visuals, audio, are stunning.

FUN FACTOR:4/5 – Starts to drag a bit too long, but still a good ride.

OVERALL: 7.5/10 – A solid effort, and a memorable film.

Eating Popcorn like a Slob at the Theater

In which you go to a theater, and eat like you forgot how

I enjoy movies, and I enjoy popcorn. One fairly simple way to derive more pleasure out of an eight dollar bag of popcorn at the movies is to eat it with reckless abandon. My thought is that the cost of the popcorn is high in order to subsidize services that the theater doesn’t make enough money to support otherwise, such as cleaning up the popcorn people spill all over the place. So the framework is there, you just have to start taking advantage of it.

The simplest way to accomplish this is to take a large handful of popcorn, and lay into it like an apple. Continue to bite inwards until your lips touch the palm of your hand. By this point your mouth should be full of popcorn, which tastes good, and your slouched physique should be littered with the bits you couldn’t quite get your teeth around.

Another common practice is the grab-and-toss, in which participants get a smaller handful of popcorn and open their mouths wide, attempting to toss the popcorn inside. Some people use a very small amount of corn, curl their fingers carefully around it, slowly releasing one kernel at a time from the top of their fist which they bring all the way to their mouthes. This is known as cheating. The proper form is a completely open palm held perfectly horizontally in front of the body, popcorn sitting on the palm. The hand is then quickly brought entirely vertical in a sweeping motion as far from the mouth as possible. The popcorn must be completely airborne before entering the mouth.

This exercise can be extremely liberating. It’s rare one gets a chance to practice such free form eating in a safe environment, at least in adult life. Give it a try the next time you’re at the theater! If you don’t find popcorn in your shoes, pockets, hair, and loved one’s hair, you need more practice!

CONCEPT: 4/5 – Popcorn, movies, experimentation; heady days my friend!

INNOVATION: 4/5 – Feel free to try your own custom moves. Think of your body and the floor as a canvas, and the popcorn is the paint! The edible paint.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – Doesn’t get much sweeter! Also feels a little like revenge for having to pay around $20 for the whole deal.

EXECUTION: 2/5 – A lot of people still don’t get it after many hours in many movies. All their popcorn goes in their mouths, which they chew closed, silently engrossed in the film. No form.

FUN FACTOR: 4/5 – A+++++ WOULD DO BUSINESS AGAIN!

OVERALL: 8/10 – Times were had!

Weekend War Zone #2 – Red Beard, Listening to Roommates Play a Star Wars RPG, Tea

Red Beard

Another movie by Akira Kurosawa, but one that I watched earlier today. The story opens in 17-18th century Japan with a young doctor, a top student, visiting the practice of another doctor Red Beard (nicknamed so because his beard is a reddish colour). He learns that one of his higher ups has pulled some strings to get him an internship under Red Beard, and absolutely refuses to take part. He was previously slated to be the personal doctor of the magistrate. Red Beard’s clinic is in a very poor district, outsiders frequently remark that they would be better off dead. Red Beard is stubborn and headstrong. The young doctor is extremely disappointed that he will not be the doctor of the magistrate.

Through treating destitute patients and hearing their life stories, the young doctor learns that even people who cannot afford medical treatment are not unworthy of love, and their capacity for sharing what little they have continually astonishes him. He learns there are much more to the seemingly pathetic and incapable patients, and forms strong bonds with the staff of the clinic, his patients, and eventually Red Beard himself. By the end of the story he is offered a position as the magistrates’ doctor and refuses, enraging Red Beard. But he has his way, and continues his work at the clinic.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – I never feel qualified to comment on art obviously much higher than my current station, but I really liked the idea of feudal Japanese doctors.

INNOVATION: 4/5 – It’s ER, but 50 years ago. Although I think comparing Red Beard to ER is something close to blasphemy.

SATISFACTION: 5/5 -It was very satisfying. The highs and lows of human emotion shown in startling beauty. (is that from the box?)

EXECUTION: 5/5 – Highest quality acting, photography, script and direction.

FUN FACTOR: 1/5 – This movies isn’t that fun. It’s over 3 hours long, and most of the themes are very serious. There’s about 2 jokes, but they break such tension and provide such a contrast to the poverty displayed that I found them to be funnier than all the jokes in most comedies. That said, the movie isn’t about fun, it’s about the slow earning of happiness.

OVERALL: 8/10 – Very good cinema.

Listening to Roommates Play a Star Wars RPG

“Come get some, Wookie Boy!” “Now we’re talking!” “He slices into you with a vibro-blade.” “Aw.” Yes, this is the majesty of a Sunday night. Dudes, dice, and droids. I can’t really make fun of them though. I know exactly what they’re talking about when they say “Cortosis Armour” or “Gonk Droid,” even chiming in “Rodians” when someone asks, “What race is Greedo?” Yes, I am a nerd also.

So far on their adventure, a team of a Wookie and two humans, all of which don’t speak at least one of the other’s language, have managed to run two smash-and-grab jobs for the Hutts, and are currently in a bar fight. Jay shouts “You just eviscerated a guy from his belly to his neck! Of course his buddy is pissed!” Frequent first person dialogue is heard: “I close the door.” “What? Why? I open the door and open fire!” “I close the door.” As well as second person narration: “You’re stunned. You fall on his vibro-axe.” “You fail to hack the door. It shuts.” “You trip on the table, your vibro-axe skitters across the floor and stops at the far wall.”

CONCEPT: 3/5 – Friends playing a creative game together! It’s all good fun!

INNOVATION: 4/5 – Not as creative as making their own role playing system, but still requires a good amount of imagination.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – They seem to like it.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – As opposed to when me and my friends used to play all those years ago, they actually get things done and play at a fairly good pace. But they’ve been playing since 5, and it’s 11 now.

FUN FACTOR: 5/5 – They’re having a lot of fun. If anyone’s “not in the room” they are allowed to play Tetris DS. It’s pretty effective to get them to not pay attention to what’s happening outside their perception, and keeps them entertained.

OVERALL: 7/10 – Better than World of Warcraft!

Tea

Tea is a drink people make out of dried leaves (or in some cases other parts of a plant) which are put in a receptacle, and then have hot water poured on them. This makes the water taste a little like the leaves, and discolours the water.

I like tea, I used to drink it a lot. Probably around 2 cups a day or more. When I got pneumonia last year, any diuretics I drank for several months afterwards would dry out my lungs and make them hurt a lot, so I have to give up tea. I’m sort of getting back into it now, but I enjoy life off caffeine. It’s nice to not need something to help me function.

Tea is delicious, and I like it with milk and sugar. If I was forced to choose a favourite, I’d say probably Earl Grey, but if you’re getting fancy my actual favourite tea so far is a combination of Ms. Grey from Murchie’s tea company and a Mocha Roibos that Rob has. I don’t remember the brand, and I haven’t been able to make my blend since I stopped living with Rob and Jordie.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – A hot drink to calm you while also making you more alert. Very comforting on cold rainy days.

INNOVATION: 3/5 – I’m not sure who discovered tea, but I’m glad they did. There’s so many types and tastes, you could never try them all.

SATISFACTION: 5/5 – Mmmmmm!

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Easy to mess up, but even if it’s not made exactly how I like it’s still pretty good.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – Tea can be fun, or facilitate fun between friends.

OVERALL: 8/10 – Great! One of my favourite drinks.

Verdict – Winner: TEA! I shouldn’t have to explain this one. Once again, Kurosawa loses out to a greater cause. Tea has influenced politics, economies, and even civilizations. Sorry, Kurosawa! Better luck next time.

Weekend War Zone #1 – Burning Rubber, Cold, Seven Samurai

Get Ready!

Since this is the first Weekend War Zone, I’ll explain. I will quickly review three items (because chances are most Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays I’m not going to have time to write reviews) and determine a winner. Think you already know the winner? You may be surprised!

Burning Rubber - On the smell chain, this is somewhere just under decaying flesh, which is actually the worst smell in the world for people because the scent molecules of dead meat invade all olfactory receptors as an evolutionary guard against, well, death (did I make that up? Look it up!) Rubber has no business burning. There’s nothing that can be accomplished by having rubber burn that is useful to society or any one person, ever. It smells absolutely awful, pollutes like a B, and usually means your car is just about ready to explode. Terrible in every instance.

CONCEPT: 0/5 -No.

INNOVATION: 1/5 – Rubber is a boon to mankind. Burning it is not original. Anarchists have been around for a long time.

SATISFACTION: 0/5 – Next to none, unless you.. No, none.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – It really burns good sometimes. All bubbly and drippy too. Smells as bad as possible; props.

FUN FACTOR: 2/5 – One time I held a piece of rubber on a stick and lit it on fire. The fire made little VOOP VOOP noises as the melting rubber dripped flaming onto the ground.

OVERALL: 3/10 – There is no reason for this.

Cold – Not the illness, the temperature. The lack of energy. Most people don’t enjoy being cold, and while I can see it may be uncomfortable for them, it’s also slightly based on what you think is cold. People who grow up in cold climates, or are raised by wolves, often have a higher tolerance for cold suggesting that it’s not universal as to what is uncomfortable. Cold is used in science, to cool things, like Cold Fusion, and Wars (Cold War.) How nice is it to have a nice cold milkshake on a hot summer’s day, or a cold refreshing kiss from your chilly girlfriend on cool winter’s night in a warm van? I’ll tell you how nice below.

CONCEPT: 5/5 – The opposite of hot, and most of outer space is cold. Has done many things for science and food expiration.

INNOVATION: 3/5 – Everyone gets a little tired of cold. “Okay, I’m ready to be warm now,” is a common sentiment. There is nothing else quite like it, however.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – I can’t think of many ways cold could be better, except maybe to be a little warmer sometimes.

EXECUTION: 5/5 – Well done!

FUN FACTOR: 0/5 – While cold allows for great things, like superconductors, it’s just not all that amusing. I know some people will say “I love ice skating! Cold is great!” To you I say: wouldn’t you rather warm skate? Ice skating isn’t even the subject!

OVERALL: 9/10 – Near flawless in it’s execution. It’s doing a number on my hands as I type this!

Seven Samurai – Seven Samurai is a movie by Akira Kurosawa. It was made in 1954, and is about seven samurai who defend a town of rice farmers from a horde of bandits for no pay but all the rice they can eat. It’s renowned for it’s photography, portrayal of emotion and class division in 16th century japan. It’s also got action, and some funny bits.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – Think of a cool samurai. Now think of seven. Pretty good!

INNOVATION: 4/5 – The 16th century was a long time ago, and there were already lots of samurai movies when this came out, but it still managed to be innovative.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – A beautiful movie.

EXECUTION: 5/5 – Incredibly well made. Moving, and memorable.

FUN FACTOR: 2/5 – Can be pretty long to sit through. But it’s not all about having fun. Sometimes being grown up means more that just having fun whenever you want and taunting children who can’t.

OVERALL: 9/10 – One of the best movies ever made, and complete classic.

Verdict – So, who wins? Burning rubber is an obvious dud, but Cold and Seven Samurai both come in with a solid 9. In this case the winner is, COLD. Seven Samurai may have influenced many lives with it’s savage and beautiful view of human life, but not nearly as many lives as the savage beauty of the Cold. What other condition can all people relate to? What else could make thermometers worthwhile? What else could make fresh fallen snow on Christmas morning? Only cold.