Purdy’s Hedgehogs

Note: these make a nice gift for me. 

For my birthday, my Mom got me a box of Hedgehogs. They’re hazlenut chocolate inside chocolate that is shaped like a little caricature of a hedgehog, which is an animal. I should know, I used to have a pet hedgehog.

This all started because I used to read books about a wonderful place called Fern Hollow, which had nice little stories and pictures of mice wearing pants, and turtles wearing bowties, and everyone had cute english accents and had small problems. There was a family, the Willowbanks, who were hedgehogs. I couldn’t pronounce “Willowbank”, bless me, so I called their son, a bit of a scoundrel, Spike Bee-a-bank.

This led to a strange fascination with hedgehogs, and at some point I became enamored with having a pygmy hedgehog as a pet. This happened, thanks to some locals who were happy to sell me one of their brood. Almost… too happy… Yes, as it turns out, hedgehogs make terrible pets. They are spikey, jumpy, fast, rude, and poopy/pee-y. Also, they sleep all day, and  ram into the bars of their cage all night. That is the hedgehog way.

But when you turn a hedgehog into chocolate and shrink it down, an amazing thing happens. You can put them in a box and sell them. Then people buy them at the store, and give them to me for my birthday. And I enjoy them very slowly for the next few weeks.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – Buying me hedgehogs is nice, but I DON’T want this to turn into something that everyone does for every occasion! Not even as a joke, like “hey, let’s buy Justin chocolate because he said he didn’t want us to.” NO! Only buy it because you think it would make a good gift. That being said, I will never complain about having too many, so it’s really up to you.

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Now that I’ve taken all the surprise out of it… Speaking of surprises, they come in this triangular box that totally gives away the gift before you even open it. This marks the second time I’ve written about triangular chocolate.

SATISFACTION: 3/5 – Well, it’s hard not to be. Although I do like dark chocolate too.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – It’s hard to mess up, but you could accidentally buy a triangular box of hedgehog entrails, so we’ll have to wait and see how this pans out.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – They’re fun to eat. It’s like eating a small, delicious part of my disappointing childhood obsession.

OVERALL: 7/10 – They’re pretty tasty.

Not Receiving Angry Mail About Not Updating

What’s up guys?

I haven’t updated in a while. Busy with stuff I guess. The thing is, if I committed to wasting time instead of pledging to do homework and then accomplishing only half of it, I would have tons of time to do other stuff like write.

No one sent me any hate mail though, and for that I am thankful? The question mark implies a mixed feeling. I am happy that no one bothered me about having too much work for school to do, midterms, maths, and numerous meetings with 3 separate groups. But this also means that no one actually cares weather or not I’m writing anything. To that I say, tough nuts! I’m gonna keep writing, being self referential, not doing research, and talking about nothing in particular!

Case in point, it’s time for this to be over.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – People not sending me angry emails is a great idea.

INNOVATION: 4/5 – Actually, sending me angry emails would be fairly innovative, as it doesn’t really happen very much.

SATISFACTION: 3/5 – I’m satisfied, but also un, because an email may have prompted me to get going again.

EXECUTION: 5/5 – Awesome, flawless even!

FUN FACTOR: ?/5 – I don’t understand what this means.

OVERALL: 5/10 – A mixed blessing. Don’t try to be funny and send me an email all being like “where you been??! I read a website!”