Food Poisoning (confirmed)

The sweat of bad meats and dreams of fictional children’s movies: an illness in three acts

It might have been the pizza pockets, or the wasabi peas, or the apple, or the 5 beers, or the two shots of sambuca, or the eggs on english muffins, or the taco and mexican platter, or the microwave popcorn, or the rootbeer, or the sourdough with cheese whiz, or the doritos and banana (sorry Leah), or the johnny cakes, or the yucatan hash (was it the hash?), or the bagel with cream cheese, or the rest of the wasabi peas, or the second rootbeer,

BUT somewhere over the weekend I ingested something that wanted to reproduce rapidly in my gut. And it weren’t rabbits!

Did you know there’s no such thing as a 24 hour flu? If you have a flu that lasts for around 24 hours it’s a bacterial infection, not influenza. A bit of a misnomer.

Being rid-to-bed and constantly thirsty, I was out of commision for about 26 hours or so. Pretty much from the moment I arived home from Victoria until midnight the following day when I woke up and realized I’d sweat it out. Waking up and realizing you’ve sweat something out is a mixed blessing. On one hand it’s out, on the other it’s sweat. It nice to not be losing water our every possible orifice, however.

There was a small bonus to being ill, but if I were a less easily amused person I doubt I would count it as positive. I had some awesome hallucinations! I can’t remember them all, but true to form they involved great internal struggle that was completely fruitless. At one point 3 ideas (who knows what) were all trying to be processed at once inside my head, and all I knew is that I couldn’t let any one of them ‘win’.

Another point, more memorable because it was near the end, I watch three completely invented children’s animated movies (one hand drawn, the others computer animated). One was an epic, like Lord of the Rings, I think it was the hand drawn one, and it was my favourite. I was drawn in by the massive scope, the heartfelt characters, and the obviously large budget. After watching all three, I played a video game that Electronic Arts had produced on my favourite of the three. I remember looking at the map screen and thinking “Typical. They took the most impressive quality, the massive scope and expansive world and reduced it to a single screen with animated glowing houses for the towns, and little green goblins for nondescript bad guys.” To travel from point to point you just pressed a direction and your characters moved along a dotted line to the next town. So, I phoned Moss to complain about this feature, but then we got sidetracked talking about something else.

CONCEPT: 0/5 – Not… What? Who… Why does this exist? These microbes don’t make sense. If they succeed, the host dies, and so do they. If they do not succeed, the host wins, and they die.

INNOVATION: 1/5 – Good job at making me miss class, I haven’t been sick in a while.

SATISFACTION: 1/5 – I can’t justify missing out on a day and a half of my life, even if it was relaxing in a strange way.

EXECUTION: 2/5 – To my benefit, those little fuckers didn’t even keep me down for over 26 hours.

FUN FACTOR: 0/5 – Upset bummy.

OVERALL: 1/10 – Go to hell, gastro!

Answer to Three Questions in Video Form – Update 1

Now I’m part of “this thing”

Updated for Awesome! (below)

I’m not happy with this. Let’s look more closely. In realizing the full potential of my camera I’ve made a video of myself answering three questions that Gus posed to me. Now, in writing about it, I think I’ve become very self referential and irritating. Who cares what I think? I don’t care what other people who post all manners of videos on YouTube think, especially when they’re posting their personal thoughts on other videos. I even feel annoyed that I had to use the word “YouTube” in a post on this blog. Now I’ve used the work “blog”! Augh! This is snowballing out of control.

The video itself is alright, there’s an unpleasant hum throughout, but that seems to be the standard for small digital camera videos. Visual quality is okay. I’m also irritated that just like everyone else out there, I did this at my desk. It does offer a window into the marvels of my desk, however. The fact that I have teeth strewn about it is worrisome.

I’m a little sad that (even now) I’m not talking about ideas as much as I’d like, and instead talk about events as they reflect on me. This is not how I want to write most of the time, and I try to stay away from it. Although this is a journal of sorts, and the video itself appends the journal, I would rather have at least some depth. To write inspired by daily events, but not actually reference myself, or perhaps only in passing to allow the reader to imagine the process of my day to day life. The video does not help this, it’s a depiction OF my life, although not an accurate one because while it was ad-libbed I was still acting.

Anyway, enjoy, hope you find it amusing!

CONCEPT: 3/5 – Not so bad, seemed like a good idea at the time!

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Everyone and their dog AND their dog’s dog are making these things it seems like.

SATISFACTION: 5/5 – Out of all categories I’m probably least ’satisfied’.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Very little work was actually done. I chose to leave my hand reaching out to turn off the camera in because it was easier.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – It was fun!

OVERALL: 7/10 – I’m too hard on myself, it was pretty fun to make.

Bonus illustration of situations discussed herein by Miss S. Blakey!

Running Through the Rain to the Ferry

Wind storm also

An entirely different experience than taking the ferry is running through the rain to the ferry. This may happen because you’re at a friend’s house before Christmas, and he lives in Campbell River, and you live on Quadra, and you were Christmas shopping and decided to go to his place for drinks and to listen to music. Or maybe for some other reason, I’m not a soothsayer.

So it comes to be 9:30, and if you don’t leave soon you’re not going to be able to catch the 10:30 home, so of course you procrastinate for at least 20 minutes because you’ve been drinking Scotch and Rye and listening to Tyler Fedchuk mixes and going over the year in music. You eventually decide to leave so that it’s easier to get things done tomorrow, even though it’s raining pretty hard out, and there’s a terrible wind storm going on and you’re not even sure if the ferry’s running anyway. On the way out you leave the present you bought Mom in your friend’s entryway.

And you’re doing it. You’re jogging to the ferry in the rain in a wind storm. Thank God it’s mostly down hill, and the Scotch has made you feel warm and unable to tell when you should stop jogging. So you get there in record time, about 10 minutes, and you have to sit and wait for the ferry for another 10 minutes in the cold wet waiting area. But at least the ferry is running, and your brother picks you up at the other side and drives you home. Good thing he got his license! Maybe he can pick you up tomorrow from the pub as well…

CONCEPT: 1/5 – Having to run through the wind and rain in a big jacket aren’t high on anyone’s list of things to do before they die.

INNOVATION: 1/5 – It’s common knowledge that running increases speed.

SATISFACTION: 2/5 – Getting there on time is nice, but being too early just makes you think of all the time you could have spent still listening to a mash up.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – Well, you made it with time to spare at least.

FUN FACTOR: 1/5 – Suck factor: 4/5

OVERALL: 4/10 – Not all that bad, really.

Weekend War Zone #2 – Red Beard, Listening to Roommates Play a Star Wars RPG, Tea

Red Beard

Another movie by Akira Kurosawa, but one that I watched earlier today. The story opens in 17-18th century Japan with a young doctor, a top student, visiting the practice of another doctor Red Beard (nicknamed so because his beard is a reddish colour). He learns that one of his higher ups has pulled some strings to get him an internship under Red Beard, and absolutely refuses to take part. He was previously slated to be the personal doctor of the magistrate. Red Beard’s clinic is in a very poor district, outsiders frequently remark that they would be better off dead. Red Beard is stubborn and headstrong. The young doctor is extremely disappointed that he will not be the doctor of the magistrate.

Through treating destitute patients and hearing their life stories, the young doctor learns that even people who cannot afford medical treatment are not unworthy of love, and their capacity for sharing what little they have continually astonishes him. He learns there are much more to the seemingly pathetic and incapable patients, and forms strong bonds with the staff of the clinic, his patients, and eventually Red Beard himself. By the end of the story he is offered a position as the magistrates’ doctor and refuses, enraging Red Beard. But he has his way, and continues his work at the clinic.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – I never feel qualified to comment on art obviously much higher than my current station, but I really liked the idea of feudal Japanese doctors.

INNOVATION: 4/5 – It’s ER, but 50 years ago. Although I think comparing Red Beard to ER is something close to blasphemy.

SATISFACTION: 5/5 -It was very satisfying. The highs and lows of human emotion shown in startling beauty. (is that from the box?)

EXECUTION: 5/5 – Highest quality acting, photography, script and direction.

FUN FACTOR: 1/5 – This movies isn’t that fun. It’s over 3 hours long, and most of the themes are very serious. There’s about 2 jokes, but they break such tension and provide such a contrast to the poverty displayed that I found them to be funnier than all the jokes in most comedies. That said, the movie isn’t about fun, it’s about the slow earning of happiness.

OVERALL: 8/10 – Very good cinema.

Listening to Roommates Play a Star Wars RPG

“Come get some, Wookie Boy!” “Now we’re talking!” “He slices into you with a vibro-blade.” “Aw.” Yes, this is the majesty of a Sunday night. Dudes, dice, and droids. I can’t really make fun of them though. I know exactly what they’re talking about when they say “Cortosis Armour” or “Gonk Droid,” even chiming in “Rodians” when someone asks, “What race is Greedo?” Yes, I am a nerd also.

So far on their adventure, a team of a Wookie and two humans, all of which don’t speak at least one of the other’s language, have managed to run two smash-and-grab jobs for the Hutts, and are currently in a bar fight. Jay shouts “You just eviscerated a guy from his belly to his neck! Of course his buddy is pissed!” Frequent first person dialogue is heard: “I close the door.” “What? Why? I open the door and open fire!” “I close the door.” As well as second person narration: “You’re stunned. You fall on his vibro-axe.” “You fail to hack the door. It shuts.” “You trip on the table, your vibro-axe skitters across the floor and stops at the far wall.”

CONCEPT: 3/5 – Friends playing a creative game together! It’s all good fun!

INNOVATION: 4/5 – Not as creative as making their own role playing system, but still requires a good amount of imagination.

SATISFACTION: 4/5 – They seem to like it.

EXECUTION: 4/5 – As opposed to when me and my friends used to play all those years ago, they actually get things done and play at a fairly good pace. But they’ve been playing since 5, and it’s 11 now.

FUN FACTOR: 5/5 – They’re having a lot of fun. If anyone’s “not in the room” they are allowed to play Tetris DS. It’s pretty effective to get them to not pay attention to what’s happening outside their perception, and keeps them entertained.

OVERALL: 7/10 – Better than World of Warcraft!

Tea

Tea is a drink people make out of dried leaves (or in some cases other parts of a plant) which are put in a receptacle, and then have hot water poured on them. This makes the water taste a little like the leaves, and discolours the water.

I like tea, I used to drink it a lot. Probably around 2 cups a day or more. When I got pneumonia last year, any diuretics I drank for several months afterwards would dry out my lungs and make them hurt a lot, so I have to give up tea. I’m sort of getting back into it now, but I enjoy life off caffeine. It’s nice to not need something to help me function.

Tea is delicious, and I like it with milk and sugar. If I was forced to choose a favourite, I’d say probably Earl Grey, but if you’re getting fancy my actual favourite tea so far is a combination of Ms. Grey from Murchie’s tea company and a Mocha Roibos that Rob has. I don’t remember the brand, and I haven’t been able to make my blend since I stopped living with Rob and Jordie.

CONCEPT: 4/5 – A hot drink to calm you while also making you more alert. Very comforting on cold rainy days.

INNOVATION: 3/5 – I’m not sure who discovered tea, but I’m glad they did. There’s so many types and tastes, you could never try them all.

SATISFACTION: 5/5 – Mmmmmm!

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Easy to mess up, but even if it’s not made exactly how I like it’s still pretty good.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – Tea can be fun, or facilitate fun between friends.

OVERALL: 8/10 – Great! One of my favourite drinks.

Verdict – Winner: TEA! I shouldn’t have to explain this one. Once again, Kurosawa loses out to a greater cause. Tea has influenced politics, economies, and even civilizations. Sorry, Kurosawa! Better luck next time.

Free Glasses with Alcoholic Beverages

Glasses you get for free in a package with booze.

The idea is you drink the beverage in the glass, and you look all classy because that glass is designed specifically for that drink. But what do you do when the drink is all gone? Throw the glass away? No way! You’re a pack rat! So it enters the constant ebb and flow of dishes.

The glasses themselves I rarely have issue with. Occasionally they are garish, or too “advertisey” or just not designed well for day to day use, but this usually isn’t the case. However, they do have other issues: often the drink you’re buying costs a little bit more. You may rationalize this by saying that, hey, it’s a $3 (or less) glass. It’s really something more like a $3 advertisement that you’ll always have around. Maybe advertising doesn’t affect you, but it’s always a little strange to be paying a company for the privilege of advertising in your home.

They’re not always very high quality either. I’ve seen several tumblers that look a little lop sided when observed closely. In reality, even expensive glasses aren’t perfect.

Through living with a BC Liquor Store employee, I’m sure I see more of these things than normal people ever do. Alexander Keith’s  pints, Bacardi decanters, Sourpuss shooters, etc. Having a lot of them around all the time is tacky, and makes you look like a boozer. I see no reason not to keep them though, although perhaps in another cabinet and used strictly for their drink of choice.

CONCEPT: 3/5 – Glasses are handy, and pack in deals can make good gifts. I assume. I’ve never recieved or given one. I think they exist in that sort of strange gift zone where all parties involved regard the gift as arbitrarily “good” and no one’s really sure why.

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Selling a glass with a drink is like selling socks with shoes. You already have what you need or you probably wouldn’t be buying it.

SATISFACTION: 3/5 – Above average, especially when in proper use.

EXECUTION: 2/5 – Glasses are usually not of the highest quality, or are tacky.

FUN FACTOR: 1/5 – Drinking can be fun, but the glasses themselves aren’t all that stimulating. The only fun thing IS that they come with booze. No one would want them otherwise.

OVERALL: 5/10 – Due to their hit and miss nature, confusing role in non-alcoholic drinking, occasional bad impression they may give to visitors, I could take them or leave them.

Life in Review

Daily reviews of daily things. Articles, books, websites, smells, video games, food, sensations, concepts, conversations, drinks, activities, music, people, bits of earth, etc.

The idea is intriguing, and adds a feeling of usefulness to what would otherwise be a fairly straightforward journal. A formula will also be followed, including but not limited to:

Title – What the review is of.

What – More in depth blurb or explanation.

Body – Description and observations about the subject.

Pros/Cons – An optional component where the pros and cons of the subject are weighed.

Ratings – Rank the subject against other subjects. Subjects will be rated out of 5 in CONCEPT, INNOVATION, SATISFACTION, EXECUTION, and FUN FACTOR. There may also by an additional rating based on other observations of the subject as well as an OVERALL score which is out of 10, and is not an average of previous ratings.

There will also be swears.

CONCEPT: 3/5 – Interesting. Will be fun to watch play out.

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Blogs and Reviews are both nothing new, but at least an ounce of creativity is required which warrants a 2.

SATISFACTION: Remains-to-be-seen/5 – This will be updated in the future with an accurate score.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – The fact that I got off my ass and made a blog is pretty good. I’ll give myself a congratulatory ‘3′.

FUN FACTOR: 4/5 – If this ever gets below a ‘2′ I may have to discontinue writing.

OVERALL: 8/10 – Commitment and creative output are in conflict! Let’s watch!