Answer to Three Questions in Video Form – Update 1

Now I’m part of “this thing”

Updated for Awesome! (below)

I’m not happy with this. Let’s look more closely. In realizing the full potential of my camera I’ve made a video of myself answering three questions that Gus posed to me. Now, in writing about it, I think I’ve become very self referential and irritating. Who cares what I think? I don’t care what other people who post all manners of videos on YouTube think, especially when they’re posting their personal thoughts on other videos. I even feel annoyed that I had to use the word “YouTube” in a post on this blog. Now I’ve used the work “blog”! Augh! This is snowballing out of control.

The video itself is alright, there’s an unpleasant hum throughout, but that seems to be the standard for small digital camera videos. Visual quality is okay. I’m also irritated that just like everyone else out there, I did this at my desk. It does offer a window into the marvels of my desk, however. The fact that I have teeth strewn about it is worrisome.

I’m a little sad that (even now) I’m not talking about ideas as much as I’d like, and instead talk about events as they reflect on me. This is not how I want to write most of the time, and I try to stay away from it. Although this is a journal of sorts, and the video itself appends the journal, I would rather have at least some depth. To write inspired by daily events, but not actually reference myself, or perhaps only in passing to allow the reader to imagine the process of my day to day life. The video does not help this, it’s a depiction OF my life, although not an accurate one because while it was ad-libbed I was still acting.

Anyway, enjoy, hope you find it amusing!

CONCEPT: 3/5 – Not so bad, seemed like a good idea at the time!

INNOVATION: 2/5 – Everyone and their dog AND their dog’s dog are making these things it seems like.

SATISFACTION: 5/5 – Out of all categories I’m probably least ’satisfied’.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Very little work was actually done. I chose to leave my hand reaching out to turn off the camera in because it was easier.

FUN FACTOR: 3/5 – It was fun!

OVERALL: 7/10 – I’m too hard on myself, it was pretty fun to make.

Bonus illustration of situations discussed herein by Miss S. Blakey!

Growing a Beard

Let’s get started.

Growing a beard is one of the defining moments in a man’s life, although I’d imagine it would be even more of a defining moment in a woman’s life. This isn’t to say that a beard makes one more of a man; it does not. A beard just makes you a certain type of man, and for all my research (none) I can only conclude that that type is: Lazy.

Yes, a beard is one of the only things you can accomplish and obtain through gross inaction. Our society, obsessed with the nubile, hairless, bald, huge black eyed, bulbous nosed, and pulpy amorphous bodied super models, is taught to fear hair and scream at it. I’m not here to debate if this is right or not. Because there’s no debate, it’s wrong.

A beard has only three purposes:

1. To relieve the chill of the winter wind.
2. To be used as portable bonzai for those prone to misplacing bonzai.
3. Altering the appearance if shamed.

A beard grown for vanity will spite it’s grower, just as a beard grown for profit will prove to be the greatest source of lost income for the grower. Note that this includes beards someone has forced to grow on other people for these purposes.

CONCEPT: 3/5 – Ranks slightly above Not Washing the Bathroom Cup, which is a pretty good idea.

INNOVATION: 1/5 – Have you even seen a monkey?

SATISFACTION: 2/5 – Itchiness beleaguers even the most stalwart.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – Depends heavily on the style and the owner’s facial form. Growing a Tuscan Winter is fairly simple, but the Sunday Morning Bookend can be a task.

FUN FACTOR: 2/5 – This is also heavily dependent on how much time the owner is saving by not taking 5 minutes to shave every morning, and instead playing slots.

OVERALL: 6/10 – Beards can be a tricky sort of thing, but keep not shaving, you’ll get there eventually.