That Almost Full Bladder Feeling

Do you get up now, or can you wait 10 minutes?

Ah, I gotta make this quick. Sometimes, don’t you wish you could live like the idea philosopher? Not have to worry about when the next time you’re gonna have to eat is, always thirsty, or tired, or lonely, or dirty, or having an almost full bladder. That would be the life, uninterrupted by minor details of keeping these old wrecks lumbering around. Imaging converting your washroom into a computer room, or “party closet”.

So you’re in the middle of a movie. You really shouldn’t have drank that huge coke before the previews even finished. You’re not set to explode yet, but you feel a bit of pressure, and a vaguely uncomfortable sensation. Do you get up now? It’s kind of a slow part. What if it picks up? You CAN wait a few more minutes. It’s not that urgent. Plus what if you go too early, and you just have to go again in a little while? If you wait longer that’s longer until the next time you have to go as well!

This is the dilema faced by billions of people every day, and yet we have no word for it. Maybe in another language there’s something to describe it; it probably also means “waiting for a woman to return your love” so it gets used in comedies a lot as sort of a double meaning. There’s a lot of movie theater based jokes in there somewhere for a romantic comedy to exploit.

CONCEPT: 2/5 – Excruciating, not because of the actual need to urinate, but for the dilema it poses the participant.

INNOVATION: 2.5/5 – I don’t know what to say about this one.

SATISFACTION: 1/5 – Not much to be had, it’s pretty much anguish no matter how you deal with it. Even when it’s not limited to a movie theater.

EXECUTION: 3/5 – One of the great philosophical talking points of our time.

FUN FACTOR: 1/5 – Augh!

OVERALL: 2/10 – I gotta go. BRB.